Kevin Dahlstrom once paid cash for a Porsche for $211,000. He was in his 30s and lived in Texas, working in high-profile corporate marketing jobs at Mister Cooper, a mortgage services company, and Elevate, a credit solutions company.
He says Porsche created more stress than joy and started practicing minimalism, letting go of material things. So in his 40s, he gave up everything, moved his family to Colorado, and focused on “a more meaningful and balanced life.”
He and I talked recently. He shared his evolution from the pursuit of money to happiness, purpose, rock climbing, and more. The entire audio is embedded below. The transcript has been edited for length and clarity.
Eric Bandholz: Please give me an overview.
Kevin Dahlstrom: I live in Boulder, Colorado with my wife and two teenage daughters. I’m 53 years old and my motto is “I learned it all the hard way, so you don’t have to.” My career has included starting four companies and working as an executive at large companies, usually as a chief marketing officer. At the peak of my career in my mid-40s, I left the corporate world, moved to Boulder, and rebooted my life. I focused on finding happiness through activities like rock climbing and building a more meaningful and balanced life.
When I was young, I believed in society’s definition of success: money and status. I climbed the corporate ladder but realized I wasn’t happy. I have not been intentional in shaping my life around what is important to me. I’m in my mid 40’s, redefine success By my own will, I built my life around that vision. Now, he is in control of his time, balancing work and his passion for rock climbing, while being a devoted husband and father.
Bandholz: Could you have achieved this life without the money and status stage?
Dahlström: Life has seasons. There is a season of effort and a season of reward. I am a future person. The key is to sharpen with purpose. I made the mistake of pursuing goals that were not very important to me. I can tell you from experience that once you reach a certain level of wealth, increasing it no longer increases. improve your life — it could get even worse.
It’s all about setting boundaries. In my early 30s, I realized I was on a hamster wheel, running faster and getting nowhere. Boundaries have allowed me to stay with my family and stay healthy. Many people think that they will suddenly retire after years of hard work. I think of it as a sliding scale where you gradually gain more control over your time and choices. I restarted in my 40s and this process continued for years.
Bandholz: Was there anything that happened that caused you to reevaluate?
Dahlström: I have an exercise called “Ideal End State”. You list what your perfect life would be like. List how you want to spend your time and who you want to be with, not your accomplishments. Most people find that they can get what they want for less than they expected. I did this exercise and it led to a reboot.
A pivotal moment was when I bought a Porsche 911, which I had dreamed of since I was a child. I paid $211,000 in cash, but it was more stress than joy. I realized that I’m not that kid anymore and Porsche doesn’t define me. That experience inspired me to practice minimalism, and I was able to let go of material things that no longer suit me.
Bandholz: Are you into rock climbing? Is your family involved?
Dahlström: One of my daughters used to climb mountains, but she has lost interest. My wife is crazy about tennis. It’s healthy for everyone to have their own thing. I believe in the concept of “three lives”: life as a family, life as a couple, and life as an individual. All three must be maintained.
Many young parents are giving up one or two of their lives, which creates a toxic environment. Although climbing caused some conflicts in the early years of our marriage, we have come to understand the importance of maintaining separate interests for a sustainable relationship.
We’ve been married for 27 years and anyone who says it’s easy is lying. Like any long-term relationship, a healthy marriage is hard work. The best advice I ever received was, “Great marriages are the choices you make every day.” It’s about mindset: believing in your partner.
Weekly check-ins are very important. My wife and I sit down for 30 minutes without distractions and discuss how things are going. This intentional time will keep your relationship strong even during difficult times. As soon-to-be empty nesters, we are excited about the next phase of our lives and the freedom it brings.
Bandholz: You said you’re focused on the long term. How does it affect your success?
Dahlström: I’m only interested in the long game. Short games don’t appeal to me. The long game comes with ups and downs, suffering and discipline. I thrive on it. my patience, The power to overcome tough timesis my secret weapon. Skill is important in long games. You may not see immediate results, but the benefits multiply over time. That’s how I’ve approached climbing and business. If you stick with something for a long time, you will eventually succeed.
Bandholz: You talked about achieving the life you want. What is it?
Dahlström: To manifest is to set one’s mind on something and use that intention as a guideline for one’s actions. Your actions follow your thoughts. It’s not just about setting goals, it’s about aligning your energy and actions to create the life you want.
Bandholz: Where can people connect with you?
Dahlström: they can sign up For my newsletter. I’m here × and linkedin.
